we're chasing vodka with high fives
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
