with your own penis?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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