Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
