Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
