I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
