can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
