I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
