He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
