1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
