Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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