Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
