So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize