how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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