you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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