That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
