had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
