Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize