i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
