i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
