Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize