Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
