i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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