That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
