girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
