did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
