It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
