I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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