Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
