dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
