i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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