I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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