hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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