I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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