You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
