At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
