It's like God shit irony all over that family
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
