my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
