No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
