I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
