I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
