You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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