Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
