Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
