I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
