he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
