I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just invented taco cereal.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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