youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
