the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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