and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
