question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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