Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
