I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
