the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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