I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
