im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
