there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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