im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
