on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
