last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
