When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't deserve a penis
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
