I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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