after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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